Thank you, McSweeney’s.
Fostering democracy in Iraq can be a magical experience—provided that you, the paternalistic government, are prepared for the responsibility of occupying and nurturing a nation-state in its infancy. If you aren’t, you may end up breeding unwanted insurgents and, consequently, overstretching both your military budget and the patience of voters. Below are five strategies from Planned Parenthood for Iraqi insurgent control, from least to most effective.
For information on specific plans, please click here.