I’m really happy about the poem Mathias and I wrote for Anders.
by Elisabeth Reinkordt & Mathias Svalina
A is for AWESOME. You are awesome!
N is for NEATNESS. You are very neat (as in tidy).
D is for DEBONAIRE. You are well-dressed, sophisticated, and at ease, showing ease of manner, elegance, & sophistication
E is for EAGLET. You are fuzzy & cute & you eat half-digested raw meat, occasionally from roadkill, occasionally from D’Leons.
R is for ROOMMATE. Elisabeth can’t imagine what it would be like without you. Mathias has never been your roommate.
S is for SUNSHINE. You are like sunshine everyday, but without the cancer-causing, skin-burning agents.
R is for ARGYLE. We think you wear argyle socks.
E is for EW. We never say “ew” when thinking about you.
Y is for YENTL. You’ve always wanted to be a Jewish man & when you disguised yourself as one you got some very good reviews for the movie based on your life starring Barbara Streisand.
N is for NO VOMIT IN SINK. As far as we know you’ve never vomited in a sink & we’re pretty sure you will never do so in the future. Except maybe tonight.
O is for OUTLAW. You badboy, you.
L is for LOVE. Love love love love love.
D is for DOGCHARMER. Somehow you made Bird like you.
P is for POTATO. Potatoes are delicious.
E is for ECSTACY.
T is for TALL. You are a tall man, especially from the point of view of a fifth grader.
E is for EASY SHOT. You can interpret this one in many ways. You are like a delicious shooter drink. Also hanging out with you is like taking an easy shot, in the sense that it’s always a score!
R is for REVENGE. If we are murdered you will have to revenge our deaths. (Really avenge, but you know what we mean.)
S is for SALMONELLA. Did you get salmonella poisoning from that peanut butter? We hope not.
O is for OBSOLANGIUM. You don’t have this. Yet.
N is for NOSTRILS. We love the way they flare when you’re sitting in front of John McCain.
All of these things are what make you you & we love you you! Happy birfday. Or Dersday. Or Dersbirf. Etc, etc.